Call the Law, It's Christmas

Composed and performed by Tony Williams

CHORUS
Call the law, it's Christmas.
My bank account's been kidnapped.
My wallet's been molested once again.
My paycheck has been murdered. It was so sad to see.
It's Christmas won't you call the law for me.

My wife's a goodly woman, she does the things she should.
She cooks the meals and tends the family.
But in the Christmas season, she loses all her reason.
And spends our money like it grew on trees!

CHORUS

Over at Aunt Martha's we sit around the tree, she smiles and says
"Hey, here's a gift for you. But three ties and some cufflinks don't
hardly make the grade, when I spent every nickel that I made."

CHORUS

Mastercard and Visa and American Express
Will have a laugh on me when she gets through.
Buying up the world, with a plastic credit card,
And the bills all come to me, what can I do?

It's never any different. It happens every year.
It seems as time goes by I'm spending more.
Our SUV is loaded, with a trailer hitched behind.
Don't tell me what she spent I'll lose my mind!

CHORUS

Sheriff's Department: "Sorry, we're closed. It's Christmas!"